Dear life...

You're a fucking bitch.

Now then, why do I say this? Because shortly after posting my last blog I was talking to Brian and all of sudden he says...

"listen, bernadette, i hate to say this, because you're a really nice girl, but i really do not think that i am capable of a relationship of the caliber that you keep implying. i am not a good person. i lack the patience to keep up with your moods, and i cannot give you all the attention that you desire. i apologize, but its purely because i am not good people. i hope you understand this."

Oh fuck it, I'll post the rest that was said...

"i don't understand though"
"i am not emotionally ready to give you the attention you deserve. i think we should take a break from talking for a while, and hopefully we can just become friends."
"so you are just like everyone else...i really was hoping that you weren't...but i was wrong again"
"i completely apologize, but i believe that you are correct. don't hate me too much."
"i can't hate you, i like you. i like you a lot and i just..i don't know."
"i'm going to take off though
i hope i didn't hurt you too much"
"yeah, you did."
"i'm sorry."
"i'm just..i'm confused, i'm overall upset not just at you but everything"
"i do have to go though
goodbye"

I was upset and spent a few hours writing something up, I sent this to him because as I saw it, he misintereperted what I've been saying into "I want to date you blah blah blah".

"I decided to wait until the next day to send this. But I wrote it within an hour of you leaving. I just…I feel like you misinterpreted what I said. I don’t want anything past friendship right now, I’m going through a hard time obviously and just couldn’t deal with the stress of a relationship past that right now, maybe some other time sure, but not now. I mean, I just met you on Saturday, I’m not that quick to jump into a relationship. It kinda caught me at a bad time because I’ve been really up and down lately, but I really would like it if we could keep talking and possibly hang out. That’s really what I’ve been meaning to say."

I went to bed and when I got up from my nap after my psych class this morning he had responded, and I just....I don't know how to react about what he said.

"listen, i can't be involved in this. i'm sorry, but i don't think i can handle your mood swings. don't take this the wrong way, but maybe we should just not be friends. i'm sorry."

Honestly, it's not fucking mood swings. It's just the fact that my serotonin levels get screwed up the day before and the day after my period and I get depressed. Then I'm fine. I'm fine today afterall, I want to meet up with him and talk to him about it, but I don't know if that's a good idea or not. I'll talk to our friend that we met each other through tonight, she said she's going to something that I'm going to tonight, so I'll see what she says.

I'm going to wait till tomorrow to talk to him. See how that goes.